Today, I again lost a battle of my life. The painful battle of emotions and love. I am listening to Freddie Mercury "you take my breath away"
This morning, I was 189 Lbs. Then, I got a punch in the stomach so hard that it will take long before I recover (because I will). But same symptoms as before, dry mouth, thirsty, not hungry, willing to drink only.
June 1st 2021: 186 Lbs. June 5th: 184 Lbs. June 10:182 Lbs. June 15: 180 Lbs.
June 18: I reached 179 Lbs. I lost 10 Lbs in 3 weeks of emotional distress. I am not in the obese section of BMI anymore (over 30), reached the 20's and will continue my path to return to life the best I can manage. So far, I am disgusted with food, heavy/fat/sugary and sweets makes me nauseous, I am craving for tea and light salads. How weird our brain works....
At least, from the bottom, I always rise with a positive outcome. This one is NOT the one I was dreaming of. But I will eventually overcome. With good and bad days, and setbacks and despair, tears and struggle. And memories that will never be erased.
June 20: 178 Lbs. June 25: 176 Lbs. I lost 13 pounds. June 30: 174 Lbs.
Fifteen pounds lighter. If I fit way better in my clothes and my shape slightly changed, I still have a huge amount of fat on my belly. I cannot believe it. Even 20 Lbs more lighter, I might still have this sensitive part with fat and cellulite... But who cares actually ? Nobody is ever going to look at me again, particularly my belly, and it doesn't matter anyway....
